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View From The Cop

Tips on how to get busted when smoking pot

3:32 pm November 2, 2009,

by Steve Rose
Sandy Springs Police Department
Public information officer

On Saturday I came in to read police reports. I don't normally do
that on a Saturday, but I'm way behind and was out of town so, given
the lousy weather, I decided to come in and catch up.

Here's what I came away with:

A lot of people smoke pot. Yep, as if this is a surprise, it's in
fact true. Here's a list of facts:

A lot of people smoke pot. We established that.

A lot of people smoke pot when other stuff happens.

Examples of "other stuff happens":

* Domestic violence or other arguments where someone calls the
police.

* Loud parties.

* Loud parties where the upstairs neighbors call the cops about the
smell.

A lot of people smoke pot in their cars. (None of them get speeding
tickets.) They do get tickets for the following:

* Driving too slow

* Driving with improper lane usage—later contributed to the
driver trying to open the Twinkies wrapper.

* Driving with improper lane usage—later contributed to intense
head-banging to the CD.

* Getting lost.

* Getting lost again.

The reason we know that a lot of people smoke pot in the car is mostly
due to the silly-stupid things they get into. First of all, don't
forget that regardless of your views, pot is illegal. That being said,
when the cops pull your car over and find the ashtray full and the
baggie on the console, you're probably going to get charged with it.
In some cases, the charges are left with a citation but most cases
involve other things that lend the driver to a trip to jail.

We arrest a lot of people who were driving around, smoking pot, in a car
with stolen tags or tags that have expired registration or no insurance.
If you didn't know, your tag says a lot about you. Insurance and any
warrant info are on the tag registration. Knowing that, why smoke? The
least you could do is warn the passengers that your tags are expired,
you have no insurance, and your car is stolen. I'm sure they would
want to know that before toking up. Talk about paranoid.

Pot is a material object. You can see it. The car is a material object
and you can see that too. There is no magical invisible place inside the
car. This includes the console, ashtray and under the driver's or
passenger's seat. Once the probable cause is there, the cops are
going to check further. Probable cause includes the piles of smoke that
exit the window when you roll it down after being pulled over. I can
tell you that in a given week, we probably have two dozen arrests in
cars and apartments on small misdemeanor cases of marijuana possession
because it was there to be seen.

* A man called the police and reported that his friend stole his
i-Pod. The officer walked in and found the man's pot, scale and bong
on the kitchen table. Fact: Pot makes you forget to do important things
— like hiding your pot.

* A man calls the police to report that his friend took his pot! No
kidding.

Fact: Pot makes you think that dumb things are rational.

* A man calls the police and asks when he can pick up his pot. He
was arrested for public drunkenness and had a little pot on him at the
time. He wasn't charged with the pot.
Fact: Pot makes dumb people dumber.

* Several people who were in a car were arrested for underage
possession of alcohol and possession of marijuana and related objects:
bongs, pipes (the ceramic ones), one-hitters and several hits of
Ecstasy. They were driving in one direction when they saw several cop
cars with blue lights on down the road on a cross street. They turned
onto the road going out of the way to see what they thought was an
accident. It wasn't an accident. It was a safety road-and-seat- belt
check.

If you're stopped and you've got pot on you, you might stay away
from these well-worn excuses:

1. The Oregano Syndrome: Oregano is commonly used as a spice for
food. It's normally contained in a metal can or plastic container.
It is almost never transported in plastic baggies and never has stems in
it. Oregano smells like oregano and not like pot. Chefs never travel
with unmarked oregano. Oregano is plentiful and there is little need to
transport it.

2. "That's Not Mine," otherwise known as "The
Guy" reason: This is the guy who was in your car and left his pot in
the seat. He doesn't have a last name and the driver was just giving
the guy a ride. He doesn't know him well.

3. Astonishment Syndrome: The Astonishment Syndrome requires some
acting and good luck with that — especially if you're stoned.
"I have no idea where that came from!!!!" That also might be
"The Guy" who not only leaves it in your car, he plants it, too.

Look, just stay home. Life gives you enough paranoia. Why magnify it?

About View From The Cop

Criminal Einsteins and the cops who figure them out, from Sandy Springs
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